Thoughts From The Past Thursday: Relationships Are Powerful

In case you didn’t notice, it is valentines day.  Here is a post about relationship that isn’t focused on romance…thought you might need a break from all that.  This post was originally posted on October 22nd, 2011.

This past week I had to learn a very valuable lesson…again.  There is great power in a face to face conversation.

Last week I had face to face meetings with two guys I serve along side of in our youth ministry.  Both of these guys are great youth workers and have been on our team for several years.  And both of these guys have not been around much in recent weeks.  After a bit of frustration with communication attempts being unanswered I decided I needed to sit down with them face to face and talk.  No more emails, no more texts, no Facebook messages, just good old fashioned conversation.

In both situations, it was the best thing that could have happened.  Through both meetings I learned a few very important lessons.

1. I put way too much trust in technology

During both conversations, we realized there has been communication that had not connected.  Emails and texts that I had sent that for whatever reason had never been received.  I was frustrated they never answered, they were frustrated I hadn’t communicated with them.  In the age of mass texting, reply all emails, and many many more ways we have come up with to virtually communicate with people it is easy to think we are over communicating.  Once I hit “send”, my assumption is communication has happened.  Obviously that is not a valid assumption.

2. Relationship is more than words

Yes, a lot can be accomplished through email, texting, social networking, and the like.  I feel like I have relationships with many youth workers all over the country that I have never met in person, but it will be completely different when I talk with them face to face at SYMC this year.  The same words I exchanged with both of these guys this past week could have been typed and viewed on a screen, but they would have most likely made things worse than better.  They needed to SEE that I cared about them by showing up, by the emotion in my voice, by my body language as they heard the words I said.  I needed to SEE the same things from them as they talked.  There is incredible power in relationship, especially when that relationship is not just on a screen or through someone else.

I have said many times that social networking is “fake fellowship”.  Yes it can be good and can connect people that would otherwise not be connected, but I struggle to say it is real relationship.  Whether you are leading a team of volunteers, or just interacting with friends and family, don’t trade face to face time for screen time.  I have learned once again it is not the same.  Who do you need to call or meet with?

Relationships Are Powerful

This past week I had to learn a very valuable lesson…again.  There is great power in a face to face conversation.

Last week I had face to face meetings with two guys I serve along side of in our youth ministry.  Both of these guys are great youth workers and have been on our team for several years.  And both of these guys have not been around much in recent weeks.  After a bit of frustration with communication attempts being unanswered I decided I needed to sit down with them face to face and talk.  No more emails, no more texts, no Facebook messages, just good old fashioned conversation.

In both situations, it was the best thing that could have happened.  Through both meetings I learned a few very important lessons.

1. I put way too much trust in technology

During both conversations, we realized there has been communication that had not connected.  Emails and texts that I had sent that for whatever reason had never been received.  I was frustrated they never answered, they were frustrated I hadn’t communicated with them.  In the age of mass texting, reply all emails, and many many more ways we have come up with to virtually communicate with people it is easy to think we are over communicating.  Once I hit “send”, my assumption is communication has happened.  Obviously that is not a valid assumption.

2. Relationship is more than words

Yes, a lot can be accomplished through email, texting, social networking, and the like.  I feel like I have relationships with many youth workers all over the country that I have never met in person, but it will be completely different when I talk with them face to face at SYMC this year.  The same words I exchanged with both of these guys this past week could have been typed and viewed on a screen, but they would have most likely made things worse than better.  They needed to SEE that I cared about them by showing up, by the emotion in my voice, by my body language as they heard the words I said.  I needed to SEE the same things from them as they talked.  There is incredible power in relationship, especially when that relationship is not just on a screen or through someone else.

I have said many times that social networking is “fake fellowship”.  Yes it can be good and can connect people that would otherwise not be connected, but I struggle to say it is real relationship.  Whether you are leading a team of volunteers, or just interacting with friends and family, don’t trade face to face time for screen time.  I have learned once again it is not the same.  Who do you need to call or meet with?