Be Selfish!

This is an article I wrote a few years ago, but I found myself needing this once again, so I thought you might as well.

The last several months for me have been crazy.  Conferences, winter camps, family trips, sick kids, launching a new program (LHGH), mission trip fundraising and planning, all on top of the ‘regular’ stuff that goes with being a youth worker.  I can not even imagine what I would feel like if I was not full time, and still have all of these things going on.  If you are part time or volunteer, I tip my hat to you, because I know you deal with all of these same things.

Through these months though, I have realized that the busier I get, the less time I take for myself.  We have all heard and felt the expectations of a youth worker; ‘it is about service’, ‘sacrifice for the sake of the ministry’, ‘do more so God can do more’.  In fact, we often times use the phrase ‘I’m really busy’ as a badge of honor.  At least for me, what that really means is I have been doing a lot for everyone else, and personally I am tired, overwhelmed, spiritually drained, and see no end to this craziness.  With this mentality, no wonder most people get out of youth ministry because of burn out.

But here is my dilemma, blame it on a servant’s heart or just me being weird, but I feel guilty and selfish if I slow down.  This isn’t just regarding the church and ministry, but also with my family.  Am I alone in this?  I understand the two greatest commandments; God first, others second. (Matthew 22:37-40) But, I know in the midst of my busyness, God does not always hold that first spot. Just think about what is the first thing to get pushed off the schedule; prayer and Bible reading.  And the truth is I am supposed to love others as I love MYSELF.  If I deny myself all the time in the name of service, then eventually I don’t love myself at all; which in turn makes that commandment impossible to fulfill.

As I have worked through all of these feelings these past months, a phrase keeps coming into my mind, be selfish.  It seems strange that God would be telling me to be selfish, but I think that is exactly what He has been telling me.  If I sit down to read and pray instead of playing with my boys, I feel selfish.  If I go into the office an hour late because I was at an event late the night before, I feel selfish.  If I watch a movie and take a nap on my day off instead of catching up on work, I feel selfish.  If I go out golfing or on the boat without taking a student with me, I feel selfish.  And God is saying to me, THEN BE SELFISH!  I understand being selfish can go to an extreme, which is not healthy, but an equally dangerous extreme is selflessness.  God knows better than anyone what a balanced and healthy life looks like for me, and I need to trust His wisdom.  I know during these past months, selfless has become an extreme for me.  God is telling me to pull back a bit to be healthy.  If I am not leading a balanced healthy life, I cannot be the Husband, the Dad, the youth worker, or the Christian He wants me to be.

What extreme are you living in?  What steps do you need to take in your life to bring balance?  I challenge you to ask God, I know he will tell you.  Then the hard thing is to trust what he reveals to you and then live it out.  I am trying to be a little more selfish, what do you need to try?